Kongit Farrell is a Therapist & Life Coach who specializes in individual and couples counseling. She received her B.S. in Communication from the University of Southern California, and her M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University. She applied her knowledge while working for the Clinton Administration in the Communication Office. She was then appointed Commissioner for the Department of Public Social Services where she advised Los Angeles County Supervisors on issues of policy regarding welfare and other social programs that serve marginalized populations. She is the Executive Director of iEvolve Transformational Services and maintains a private practice in Los Angeles, CA
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Featured Article
by Kongit Farrell
A recent event in the new inspired this edition of our newsletter; the phone call rant of Mel Gibson to his ex-girlfriend and mother of his daughter. Filled with threats, expletive, and other forms of verbal degradation, Gibson showed the world that the aspect of his personality which was responsible for the racist rant against Jewish people was not a passing mood but, rather, a staple of his being – the shadow aspect of his being.
Mel Gibson is NOT insane. On the contrary, he is actually very sane. However, he is severely polarized. Each part of him makes sense according to its own perspective. What is occurring during his rant is a phenomenon called “splitting”, where one aspect of the personality becomes unconscious and subverts to another which then becomes conscious and active. Once the splitting episode ends, the person reverts back to their original state, usually with no recollection of the other aspect of their personality. Splitting occurs when one is not able to manage the shadow aspects of their identity – the negative aspects of their personality that don’t go along with the self-concept that they have created, usually in accordance with the values of their society. So rather than accepting them and integrating them into a cohesive personality, splitting occurs. It then allows the shadow element of the personality to express itself without the other aspect of the personality, the consciously constructed element, being aware of the expression. Interestingly, it is relatively easy to prevent splitting from occurring in the first place. All one has to do is acknowledge and accept their shadow elements.However, in American society where morality is highly polarized between good and bad, right and wrong and so on, many do not feel comfortable acknowledging that even a sliver of their personality is “bad”, let alone have the insight, interest or courage to explore such an aspect of themselves.
We must ask ourselves why we are afraid of knowing our shadows, and further ask why would we create a society which asks its people to polarize themselves rather than integrating themselves. As long as western civilization operates under an exclusionary or either/or philosophical framework that does not accept people as they are, but rather forces them to fit into roles that condemn rather than accept aspects of their personality, many, many, many more Mel Gibson–type phenomenon are likely to occur. If we look at the issue rationally, to acknowledge that one’s self and everyone else has shadow aspects and to explore it in a safe and healthy settingwould be considered to be the wiser choice. However, to go on repressing these aspects until one’s personality splits and the shadow aspects are acted out in real life can, as exemplified by Gibson, be dangerous, career destroying and life threatening. I suppose that most rational people would look to the former, rational choice. While it is true that it may be difficult to accept that we are prejudiced, racist, sexist, brutal, cruel and any other shadow element that may apply. However, taking responsibility for this aspect and integrating it into the more positive components of the personality is well worth it in the long run – for the mental health and safety of the individual and society at large.
Since many people construct themselves, as opposed to simply being themselves, they are afraid to face any aspect of themselves that are not in harmony with the construction. So, when a racist remark slips out, or a punch is thrown, or any other vice surfaces, the person splits completely off from their “good” aspect to totally embody their “dark” aspect and, once the episode is over, they shift back into the “good” aspect as if nothing ever happened. Unless one has intentionally taken the journey of self-awareness and introspection, this phenomenon can easily occur and, from my experience, occurs much more frequently than we care to admit, especially with American men who are not socialized to be in touch with their emotions. As we can see this is not only psychologically damaging, but dangerous.
Many people were shocked after hearing the latest of the Mel Gibson rants, but I was not one of them. The phenomenon is fairly common in post-modern therapeutic practice, especially here in America. According to the works of Swiss psychoanalysis Carl Jung, what occurred during the outburst was the surfacing of Gibson’s shadow, or the darker aspects of his personality. When confronted with the occurrence of his first rant, about Jews, Gibson refuses to engage in any conversations.Even though the words came out of his mouth, his own shadow is too difficult for him to face, consciously, so what occurs is a split. He shifts from his conscious to his unconscious mind when he goes into his rants, and in this state of present un-awareness, he is unaware of both his behavior and its effect on others.
Fortunately, this can be avoided. A simple practice pioneered by Carl Jung can help people integrate the shadow aspects of their personality. If you are interested in knowing more, contact us. We can help.