Given our fast-paced world and endless competing priorities, people face more challenges today navigating family and professional life than ever before. These challenges if unresolved may lead to self-doubt, sadness, anxiety, aggression and troubled relationships. I provide support and counseling services that help manage these challenges and meet your personal, family and career goals. Through family counseling I can help you manage difficult stages of family life including; tantrumming toddlers, oppositional teens, and marital discord. Individual therapy addresses topics including; personal goals, work-life balance and parental guilt. I also have experience helping resolve the unique stressors and difficulties faced by Sr. Executives.
Together we establish a comfortable, non-judgmental environment that is solution-oriented, fosters open, honest dialogue and taps into your strengths to help achieve your goals. I am dedicated and passionate about my work – this is the job I was born to do. To that end, my personal goal for you is to develop an arsenal of tools to resolve daily problems so you can experience all the treasures life has to offer. Yeshiva offers a free consultation over the phone.
To arrange a time send an email to Yeshiva@ievolvets.com.
To arrange a time send an email to Yeshiva@ievolvets.com.
Why it’s Important and How to do it - Yeshiva Davis – M.A., M.B.A.
Poverty, divorce, death, neglect and other catastrophes can put children at risk for behavioral and emotional problems and then set them up for failure in adulthood. Some children are able to overcome risk and adversity while others fall prey to it. Resilience is a child’s ability to recover from significant hardship, stressors and misfortunes in a way that result in immediate relief, and increases his or her ability to respond adaptively to future adversity.
The purpose of this article is to introduce you to risk factors that may lead to social, behavioral and academic problems. It will identify protective factors that foster resilience and help children to overcome stressors and hardships and other challenges. Additionally, the article will address ways parents and families can promote resilience in their children.
What are Risk Factors?
Risk factors are economic, medical or cultural conditions that prevent access to opportunities and resources and may prevent a child from being a productive member of society. Some risk factors are internal –for example, a low IQ, hyperactivity, concentration problems, irritability, a quick temper or antisocial behaviors, e.g., stealing. External risk factors include overcrowded schools, dangerous neighborhoods, insufficient adult supervision and exposure to dysfunctional child rearing.
Risk factors are further separated into three categories:
· Live events- natural disasters such as the hurricanes in New Orleans and Haiti.
· Chronic adversity in the child’s home and community, for example poverty, repeated exposure to violence, physical, verbal abuse and neglect.
· The absence of protective factors. This is because risk factors have a reciprocally active effect; each one intensifies the impact of the next. For example, if a child’s parents get divorced, the negative impact of this incident is intensified by dysfunctional child rearing. And both of these risk factors would be intensified by hyperactivity and vice versa.
What are Protective Factors?
Protective factors increase children’s resistance to risk. They promote a child’s ability to have a positive, proactive disposition about the world around him, as opposed to just letting things happen. They also make stressors more tolerable and can alleviate the effects of hardships, which reinforces adaptation and competence. Like risk factors, they can be internal, for example, having a loveable, appealing temperament, an (age appropriate) sense of autonomy, self-pride and hope for the future. Or they can be external – for instance, a supportive community, a loving relationship with a trusted adult or participation in an after-school program.
How can I promote resilience in my child?
To promote resiliency in your children keep in mind the three key themes:
1. caring relationships,
2. positive and high expectations, and
3. opportunities for meaningful participation.
The summary below provides a guide to supplement development of these themes.
Encourage curiosity. Teach your child to ask and answer lots of questions and to learn how things work. Support experimental activities, making mistakes and getting hurt (minor bumps and scratches). Model critical thinking skills by thinking through problems out-loud and inviting your child to help.
Instil solid self-esteem. Self-esteem is how your child feels about himself – it allows him to receive praise and compliments and acts as a buffer against harmful situations or statements. Having a strong self-esteem also allows your child to receive constructive criticism and learn from it without feeling deflated. Good self-esteem is especially helpful if your child is exposed to bullies and unfair treatment at school or in your community.
The best way to foster self-esteem is through praise and reinforcement. Be honest and specific about your praise. For example, “I like the way you colored inside the lines” or “You did a good job communicating your feelings to Mary.” It’s also helpful to encourage activities that use your child’s innate abilities to facilitate success and accomplishment. This facilitates opportunities for meaningful participation and high expectations.
Promote an adaptive attitude and behavior. Reinforce emotional flexibility, and encourage development and comfort with opposing personality traits. For example it’s OK to be strong and gentle, logical and intuitive, serious and playful, and so forth. The key is teaching your child to adapt and know when the use of each trait or behavior is appropriate. This fosters confidence, which further promotes adaptability.
Engagement in meaningful activities. Enrolment in extracurricular activities, for example; sports, theatre or book clubs, provide exposure to all three of the aforementioned themes. They provide opportunities for meaningful participation establish high expectations through competition and foster the development of caring relationships. Chores and other household responsibilities are also considered meaningful activities. They can give your child sense of belonging and purpose in your family. They also promote self-value, accomplishment and success.
Promote the language of resilience. Word choice and communication style are integral in developing resiliency. They are key in helping your child strengthen internal protective factors. Here are some examples. “I am” is an internal source, the personal strengths, feelings, attitudes, and beliefs within your child. For instance you can teach your child to say “I am a good brother and son.” “My mother loves me and appreciates all that I do.” “I have” is an external source and refers to the supports and resources that promote resilience. “I can” is a social source, it refers to the skills your child can use when interacting with others, especially those who can help. For example, you can coach your child to say “I can tell my mother what is bothering me and I can ask my teachers for help when I need it.”
There are a myriad of risk factors that can lead to emotional and behavioral problems that can impact your child well into adulthood. Fostering resilience through the use of protective factors: caring relationships, positive and high expectations, and opportunities for meaningful participation are crucial to mitigating these risks. Adopting one or two of the suggestions presented can make a big difference in your child’s ability to adapt to adversity and successfully navigate life.
References:
Christle, C., Harley,D., Nelson C., et. Al. Promoting Resilience in Children: What Parents Can Do
Grotbert, E. Ph.D. A Guide to Promoting Resilience in Children: Strengthening the Human Spirit
Grotberg, E., (1993). Promoting resilience in children: A new approach. University of Alabama at Birmingham: Civitan International Research Center